Recently I have been going through alot of changes regarding my spirit self. I have been encouraged and challenged by God and a few motivational peers to accept and fully love myself. This has been eye opening. I didn't realize how much I was putting myself through the ringer. I have often struggled with standing up for myself and feeling secure in who I have become through Christ. I was speaking to the Lord about this and I had a moment of revelation.
My first tormenting question I had in my head growing up and through most of my young life was "Who or what Am I ?" I remember as a child this thought would haunt me because I had no idea where I came from or why I was here in this place. After I gave my heart to the Lord he starting filling in the missing pieces of that question. I was so relieved and fulfilled when this question stopped haunting me and started defining me. I am a child of the Most High. I am a daughter of the risen king. I am loved and adored by the maker of the universe. Wow! This is awesome. With some time I became more and more comfortable in my new identity.
Just the other day as I was speaking to the Lord , I was tempted to once again put myself down and question who I am. After negative comments made to me by family members I was so quick to abandon my place in the kingdom out of insecurities that maybe what these people are saying is true.
God said this to me . My name is "I AM". When you choose to put that what or who in front of my name you are creating a space and satan will try to fill that space with his ideas. When you say " I hate or dislike who I am" you are taking my name and stealing from it, but when you say things like " I love who I am " or " I like who I am " then you are joining yourself to me in all it's fullness. What a sneaky enemy we have. That satan would steal away from God's authority by simply having me question who I am... I am who he says I am. Me as a person is me plus him in all his goodness. I am happy. I am well. I am loved. I am confident. I am with self control and patience. I am Julie. ( Notice that this little sentence is more than just sharing or stating my name, It is my name but first it is His Name) Thank you Lord. I shall never use your name to question anything about myself again. I praise you the Great I AM !!! And I am so thankful that when defining myself I first get to state your great name. I am ok. I am successful. I am making an impact. I am here on purpose. I Am free to be me .
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
God Said "Don't You Remember?"
I once sat in a church service where a pastor said " It doesn't matter how many past encounters you have had with God, if He is not doing anything in your life now maybe you have just lost your Salvation ." This messed me up big time. In the beginning of my journey with Jesus I was experiencing super natural things. Stuff that just isn't normal. But it was real and it was all God. Everyone stepping out and responding to the voice of God and when the walls fell and we where all standing there with a story, our stories fit together like a lego house. So many people and together we build a house of testimony.
I reject what that one pastor said that one morning. It is not true to me. God has been asking me if I remember a time back in early , early life where I found the 20 dollars ? I remember. Not only did God move greatly that day, I had total faith that day.
There was one weekend when I was young I went to church. This trucker shared the gospel with me. He was intrigued by me. He looked at me so excited to share Jesus with me as if he knew one day I would be on fire for Jesus. I believed him then and I still believe him now.Jesus loves me.
Well the first time I prayed to God something really wonderful happened. Me and my best friend went to the mall. Local hang out. We lived right across the street from the mall. I was so embarrassed because I had no money to spend. Our thing was Burger King and arcade. My best friend was becoming more popular than me the older we got. She kept getting prettier and I kept getting dorkier. Just happened that way. On that day she was kinda irritated with me because I had no money. She didn't want to share with me when we ate or went to arcade. I remember feeling really awkward and strange about the feeling I had over this. I prayed. I said God I know your real and this is something maybe i can talk to you about. I believe. And I really did believe. I remember, I was without doubt . I told him what was going on. Well as we went to Burger King , a new chocolate factory had opened up just a few doors down. They were giving away free chocolate covered strawberries. Of course we hurried up over there. Wow these things were good and free ! There was such a large crowd of folks. As the people began to leave I looked down and had noticed a twenty dollar bill on the floor . I picked up and immediately began asking people if they had lost it . No one wanted it. Everyone just kept telling me maybe i should keep it because they didn't loose it. So I stood there with a $20 and in a split second my heart dropped into stomach like I was on a roller coaster. I closed my eyes and said Hello to my Daddy. God had spoke that day to me , showed me supernatural ability. Favor and Grace . It was our first encounter and he left a experience so raw and real that he is using it today to remind me not if I remember his power but can I recall the faith of that day. And my answer to the Lord is yes , but how do I get back there ? I am challenged with fear sometimes and it tries to rob me of my faith. I cannot be in a panic attack worried about the nation, our economy, our food supplies while believing God for all these things. It is two separate worlds. So i pray. And the Lord says " Don't you remember Julie, without a doubt,, without a doubt !" ..... So I push into God these past few days as our government shuts down . Pushing into him to escape the heaviness of living in fear. Perfect love cast out all fear. So I share this as a way to let it out and let it comfort another who might understand this.
I reject what that one pastor said that one morning. It is not true to me. God has been asking me if I remember a time back in early , early life where I found the 20 dollars ? I remember. Not only did God move greatly that day, I had total faith that day.
There was one weekend when I was young I went to church. This trucker shared the gospel with me. He was intrigued by me. He looked at me so excited to share Jesus with me as if he knew one day I would be on fire for Jesus. I believed him then and I still believe him now.Jesus loves me.
Well the first time I prayed to God something really wonderful happened. Me and my best friend went to the mall. Local hang out. We lived right across the street from the mall. I was so embarrassed because I had no money to spend. Our thing was Burger King and arcade. My best friend was becoming more popular than me the older we got. She kept getting prettier and I kept getting dorkier. Just happened that way. On that day she was kinda irritated with me because I had no money. She didn't want to share with me when we ate or went to arcade. I remember feeling really awkward and strange about the feeling I had over this. I prayed. I said God I know your real and this is something maybe i can talk to you about. I believe. And I really did believe. I remember, I was without doubt . I told him what was going on. Well as we went to Burger King , a new chocolate factory had opened up just a few doors down. They were giving away free chocolate covered strawberries. Of course we hurried up over there. Wow these things were good and free ! There was such a large crowd of folks. As the people began to leave I looked down and had noticed a twenty dollar bill on the floor . I picked up and immediately began asking people if they had lost it . No one wanted it. Everyone just kept telling me maybe i should keep it because they didn't loose it. So I stood there with a $20 and in a split second my heart dropped into stomach like I was on a roller coaster. I closed my eyes and said Hello to my Daddy. God had spoke that day to me , showed me supernatural ability. Favor and Grace . It was our first encounter and he left a experience so raw and real that he is using it today to remind me not if I remember his power but can I recall the faith of that day. And my answer to the Lord is yes , but how do I get back there ? I am challenged with fear sometimes and it tries to rob me of my faith. I cannot be in a panic attack worried about the nation, our economy, our food supplies while believing God for all these things. It is two separate worlds. So i pray. And the Lord says " Don't you remember Julie, without a doubt,, without a doubt !" ..... So I push into God these past few days as our government shuts down . Pushing into him to escape the heaviness of living in fear. Perfect love cast out all fear. So I share this as a way to let it out and let it comfort another who might understand this.
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