Why Do We Criticize ?

   First and foremost I would like to express this is not my attempt to smear anyone's image especially that of my Grandmother who recently passed. I love my life and all who are in it. She was in my life. For years I resented her because she was so critical of me. She would say things that were embarrassing and do it in front of other people. She would speak of me as an uneducated looser because I didn't go to college. She spoke badly at my decision to have bi racial children and the choices i had made alone my journey. None of it ever helped. All of it made it worse and it pushed me away from my family. I wanted nothing to do with her. She was mean and I couldn't take it anymore.
   As she grew older she learned how to put away some of the insults but never the less she always followed through with getting one jab in or maybe two , She was a critic of habit. It was always the same thing, my weight, my education, and my choices. After that wasn't much left of me to criticize. I had grown older and was better at blocking the insults but it still was not what I had wished it to be.
   As she grew older she became old and frail. She was shrinking into nothing but yet her mental presence was so strong. The last time we spoke she was so kind to me. She told me how often she thinks of me and how she loves me so. She played the harmonica for me and it was the sweetest sound ever. She didn't criticize me not one time. In all those years she had the biggest impact on me in this one final moment where she lay the criticizing down and just loved me. She put such a tug on my heart that when she finally did go just a few weeks later I was sad., I felt a weight as if she had never been who she really was in my life. One short moment of unconditional love made up for a lifetime of criticizing.
    Why do it ??> Why do we criticize those we love ?? Is that we are just thinking out loud and all of our opinions of others find it their duty to be known ?? We limit our influence greatly when we criticize. You say your trying to help, well that is a bunch of crap. Criticizing is not helping. Fortunately for my Grandmother she was given the time to remove the bad with the good but not everyone gets that chance. Maybe this is the good that can come out of the bad in this story ... that one of you who reads this  and realizes they have been to critical of a loved one. Don't send that temptation is reverse and begin to criticize yourself for being critical of others.. Just recognize and make some adjustments and keep it moving. I love my Grandmother and I am thankful that she taught me valuable lesson. I don't want to push the people I love away from me. I want people to feel loved by me. I want to create memories of value in the lives of others. I want to be as gentle as I can.

What , No Applause?

Living with the desire to be an inspiration does not give you a place on the stage you can view the audience. We must realize our goal is not to send them away talking and ranting about our talent,our goal is to send them away thinking and considering and growing. An applause is not always the biggest reward, it's just the one we think should show up first. It's okay to have felt this way, we are human. Basic humanity will present itself in all people , don't be ashamed or embarrassed. Recognize and keep it moving. We understand as we write in vulnerability and rawness and even with profanity we are baring our personal emotions and truths in hopes that we can help others and in the process help ourselves because it's upon the people whom understand our writing that we find reward. We must make a choice. If we are going to do this ~ If we are going to write and blog and use it as our kingdom given gift then we make the choice to never stay in the place of looking for our audience. We do what we do for an audience of 1 ! His name is Lord. Don't let the flesh play a trick on you. W ether or not people are commenting and or talking doesn't mean your not getting people to spend time quietly thinking about the things you wrote about. Isn't that a bigger reward ?? Stay motivated. These words I didn't write for you , I wrote them to myself in my head when I first created Writers Lounge. I had too, I was so full of fear I would invite all these folks over and they would leave laughing at me, talking about my ghetto talk ,, my improper English and why i sound black. I hate that by the way. Oh well anyways.. we write because we know God is in our everything. All up in it. He is 100% in my life in every part. When i spend time writing about my life good or bad i know that after a collection has been made and one is to look back and read the words .. I expect to see one thing.. Not a great story written by me .. But  God's Glory Given to me  and how it carried me through my life.

If your feeling down and out about yourself let me encourage you !! Unless God has said somewhere or wrote you a note somewhere saying he doesn't love you anymore then nothing has changed to the promises that got you excited in the beginning. Time is not of the concern on the lords part. He knows and he has set aside for you the time on the mountain top just as he has set aside for the character building valleys. I have seen so many valleys in my life but it doesn't compare to the favor that has been found upon me. If your putting yourself out there for the greater good of the kingdom, oh the victory you are gathering is greater than your mind can even fathom. When doubt is finally defeated and your mind is clear to receive , the story will start coming together and the ends will meet and be tied. The harvest will be abundant and the gifts are great in the amount given to others. It will over flow. Enjoy your valleys because you know He will show up and it will be obvious who He is. He is great at capturing the spot light. Live free and have the courage to love yourself because he made all things beautiful <3 And how ever you share yourself , through writing or talking, speaking, dancing, giving.. do it.. Do more of it. Do it and love it. do it and know you are in good company of all sorts of people whom are doing it and wanna see you make it !!!