Confession

    I am not that good at friendship. Friendship sometimes comes with too many expectations. When we have the joy of spending time with other people that we like we get that rush of new friendship. What happens when people start assuming or putting labels on the other person because of the great feeling of friendship? What do we really owe anyone ? Being friends shouldn't define our behavior it should be a platform for an open heart. Why is that we get our feelings so easily hurt by what others say or do ? My biggest question is why do we automatically assume because we share a great friendship with someone that they should not have any other friendships besides ours? All these questions weigh heavily on me this evening. I am personally going through some challenging friendships and because of my faith in God I am trying to motivate myself to learn all that these experiences have to offer ?! I am seeing alot of things about other people but the real lesson is to learn what is it about me . I am not sure as to what some of my current friendships will bring but I would hope that if anything the people whom have been apart of my life can say that I have pointed them to Jesus instead of me. I have no answers but I know who does. Maybe friendships are not what I have allowed myself to imagine. Those besty moments might be reserved for me and Jesus. Maybe the women in my life that come and go and call me friend are just people placed in my path for reasons I may never know. I am going to keep trusting God and believe that all things will work together for the greater good. And as I continue on my journey and encounter new friendships I hope the Lord will reveal to me one day the things that are happening now. It hurts my heart a little to say I have had to pull myself away a little from someone I do care about, a friend. But what must be done in her heart is something only God can do and sometimes tuff love must be ministered. I pray and believe and hope. That is all I am capable of. I was given the label of being someone's best friend and I failed miserably at it, the kicker of it is that I never even realized I had expectations placed on me. I am a little shy now to be so bold and encounter new people after this odd experience. I need some time to sit back and take a deep breath and let God fill me again with encouragement.