It's not about you.

          It's not about me ? What ? Why ? I remember going through all of that ! God is good and when he brought me into His Arms through His grace I fell incredibly hard into a incredibly soft place. His love allowed me to bare bleeding wounds at the time of my true salvation. I bled for awhile. I was so full of shame the first church I came to I wrote a letter to the pastor and told him who I was and if I could get his permission to come to service. Truly God led me to that particular church because I was greeted with the Love of Jesus. I survived off of their faith for my life. The amount of love he showered on me was gracious, I deserved none of it. The way I had lived my life prior to coming home to faith was evil. I was doing bad and I was bad yet the love of God found me and brushed me off and then treated me like a beloved child . He will do that. He will kiss all scrapes and bruises. He will stop the bleeding of deep cuts. He will restore and renew you to a place of wholeness.
        Life was going good. My life had been restored. I met my husband and was pregnant with my son. The ladies at church were having a get together. One of the older ladies came to me and said it was important that I come.  As soon as we were all gathered eating delicious little finger foods and drinking punch a lady walked up to me and told me God had asked her to give me something. I was excited. What is it ? She handed me a book. The book is called It's Not About Me by Max Lucado . I was a little shocked.
           I could feel the spirit speaking to me on the inside telling me that my wounds had been healed and I had experienced love for the first time but it was time for me to grow up a little because there is work to do. Jesus wants to work through me to touch the lives of others so that they may encounter the same process by which got me here. I can't explain what a weight was lifted when I came to terms with the knowledge that I don't live for myself , I live for others. I am focused outward where there is a pasture of people whom need the good shepherd. As we all may know God brings us to that place so that we can be effective in his kingdom. God needs us to be strong and go for it. No holding back ! We all try really hard at a lot of things. We try hard at finding love, having a tiny body , keeping up with latest fashion. It would be pleasing to the Lord if we all would try hard at letting go of ourselves and focus on Him. God is a God of perfect timing. He is in the business of always showing up just at the right time. Don't chase something that hasn't come to you. It's is not about you . Maybe what is to be is still in the  ingredient stage and the time is not right. It is not about us but what can be done through us. Love is a choice. Jesus chose to love us and that wasn't even about us. Jesus loving us is about Him. His Goodness , His Gracious Love and Merciful Heart. We are his reward. He valued us as His Prize, His Bride. I am so thankful that his love is not based on me or else it might be contained to small levels of dirty sloppy chaos. His Love is so good we can feel confident that living in a place where we are not focused on ourselves is a place that is healthy and organic. Life is meant to be lived organically. Jesus is the original organic. One of the most frustrating things about a relationship that is in trouble is that  one or more  of the persons are looking through the glass eye  of only seeing themselves. The What about me syndrome is a friendship killer, family destroyer. When we are offended it is most often because we are in that place of what about me. Let it go. You will be okay. Jesus will show up and bring to you all that is planned. It is not about us. Encourage yourselves in the wisdom that you are loved and adored. You are perfectly loved the way you are right now and it is okay to say it's not about me.